You knew it was coming. It had to happen. It was always going to happen. Yet however prepared we may have thought we were for the next instalment of Twiddles: The “Romance” of the Century, for this particular instalment, you’re probably going to want to go and get a sizeable tumbler of Scotch. Three fingers, at least. Neat. In fact, get me one too while you’re at it.
As predicted, Tom Hiddleston was spotted at Taylor Swift’s Rhode Island mansion over the weekend. Swift throws an annual 4th of July bash that every year proves to be an event that young Hollywood strives to attend in order to see and be seen. And of course, most importantly, papped. Because as Warren Beatty once famously said in that Madonna Truth or Dare movie (I am completely dating myself, aren’t I?), why do anything unless the cameras are rolling?
Naturally, the cameras were very much rolling this weekend at Twiddle Beach in Rhode Island, and the likes of Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, and Gigi Hadid (among others) were all there to partake in the festivities. However, not to be outdone by some of their very famous party guests, in a move that I didn’t even think was possible at this point, Hiddleston and Swift somehow managed to up their game in the pap-seeking, famewhoring department. Hiddleston was papped wearing an I heart T.S. t-shirt. Swift, while choosing a less obvious Forever 21 bikini (okay…not THAT less obvious…I’m pretty sure she’s had another boob job), chose to show her undying devotion to her boyfriend of just over three weeks with a temporary tattoo on her arm emblazoned with his initials. Oh, and Tom had one of those too, for good measure. If a little is good, then more is better, right? In fact, that seems to be the modus operandi for their entire relationship – more is more. The Daily Mail described it for us, trying their very hardest to remain neutral.
Tom, 35, wasn’t shy about declaring his feelings for his new 26-year-old girlfriend, proudly wearing an ‘I heart T.S.’ tank top.
And just in case that was too subtle, he also had his arm branded with a temporary tattoo of a loveheart bearing her initials.
The infatuated duo could not seem to keep their hands off each other as they embraced and kissed in the crystalline waves.
Looking like a pair of giddy teenagers, they grinned broadly as they put on the soppy show for their famous posse.
However, it’s not all temporary tattoos and teenage retail outlet bikinis for the newly-minted couple. The ever-increasing backlash against the rather palpable fame-thirst that this couple seems to have has not gone unnoticed by the press. Here is what the Daily Mail had to say about it.
Tom’s been incredibly supportive. When this backlash started, she was worried he’d cut and run, but it’s been the opposite. He’s done wonders to cheer Taylor up, when this is exactly the sort of thing that would normally really upset her. He even made a joke about how they’re moving too fast, and he mock-proposed to her with one of those plastic kiddie rings you get from a bubblegum machine. She thought it was hilarious.
Yes. Hilarious. If you’re in middle school, where more and more, I’m starting to think these two might actually be heading for if this keeps up. Meet me behind the home economics lab after study hall so that we can make out before gym class. Hey, you want to go get an Orange Julius at the mall after school? Seriously you two, you should have stopped about three pap strolls ago. This is getting embarrassing, and for Hiddleston in particular, a possible career suicide.
To this effect, D-listed pretty much called it like it is. Here is what they had to say about the whole thing.
Tom is PR-matized, because wearing an “I Heart TS” tank in public when you’re a grown man is the ultimate act of humiliation. If it was in my contract to wear that mess out in public, I’d lie to everyone and say that I’m only wearing it because I’m a huge T.S. Eliot fanboy.
Exactly this. to be honest, I’m not sure where they are going to go from here, I mean, we are barely through week three and already the “I heart” t-shirts have come out and we are “frolicking in the sea”. This
contractual agreement relationship seems to be moving at such warp speed that in another three weeks, I fully expect to be writing about who is going to get breakup custody of the twelve cats and fourteen miniature schnauzers that they adopted during one of their fits of unbridled love. At least, that’s what I’m hoping. I’m sort of looking forward to that. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starting to get tired.